Sometimes I wonder if the world would be a better place if there was some kind of glitter fairy that fluttered around and blew scratchy red, green and silver glitter right in the eyeballs of our beloved Foamers.
Yes, it would’ve extremely painful, probably some burning and filled with the urge to dig out their own eyeballs with a plastic spoon will be felt intensely by the lucky Foamer, but it would be worth it! With glitter filled eyes they would no longer see what churns up their frothing anger!
So, it’s the month of December- the season of giving and good will to all men and I suppose that includes Foamers. I absolutely have to acknowledge that holidays can and are rough for some of the Foamers for numerous reasons. Some of those reasons are heart breaking but many of the reasons are self inflicted stupidity. Either way, I should put the seriousness to the side and focus on the merriment that this month heralds! Their drama shmama is year round, 7 days and 24 hours. All day, every day! They are kind of like a emotional soul sucking 7-11 on the crapiest corner in the scariest neighborhood with the oldest donuts and the creepiest cashier ever.
I’ve been debating setting up a secret Santa party for my favorite Foamers- just to let them know that I truly somewhat kind of tinsy bit care about them- even though SOME OF THEM have been making kids cry, plotting killing pets, creating recipes that include dog meat, stalked, bullied, kicking puppies and generally being assholes, but they can’t help it. They were genetically bred to be puppy kicking, googling, murdering assholes and you can’t fight genetics, right?
Well, either way- from this day until Christmas Eve, I will be showcasing gifts for the special Foamer(s) in your life- so load up that debit card and get ready- the fun starts tomorrow!