Mutanious Bullshittiness Lando Sharkness other wise known as the Mutant Land Shark or the following commonly used name the Pit Bull.
According to BSL scientists and non- genetic experts, the Land Shark is a man made purpose bred killing machine. Land Shark breeders have expertly crosses Great Whites with partial T-Rex DNA and infused this unholy combo with the terrier breed.
To stalk and hunt you down while endangering lives driving Ford Pintos illegally & underinsured.
Are you one of the nutters attempting to domesticate and bring these toxic gas passing creatures into your homes? To lurk around your children? Share treats with grandma? If so, by law I’m required to inform you that you have a 829% chance of survival.
Now, I know the odds are stalked against you but after minutes of scouring Dogsbite.org archives I have come up with some vital life saving information.
Massive steel cages with a one way entrance to keep the crafty land shark from picking the lock and escaping. Be careful though- land sharks are known to fly, poof into thin air, pick locks, open doors and shrink to tiny ant sizes to escape.
Weapons of Distraction:
Chose wisely. Depending on the size of approaching Land Shark, the correct treat size is essential.
If you leave the house unarmed- just try to remember these three tips: